Shania -
I was in the checkout line at the supermarket, and I read in People Magazine that Mutt allegedly cheated on you and your marriage is on the rocks. I want to offer you encouragement.
Now is probably not the best time to receive a note from a stranger, but it will probably take a month or two for your people to find this on the internet and forward it to you. By then it will be perfect timing.
I have never been divorced, but I have had plenty of friends who have. From what I can tell, it sucks. Everybody loses in a divorce. Not to be a downer, but you will probably be struggling with this for quite a while.
Here is the upside: you are rich, and you are hot. I am guessing you are rich because you sold a ton of albums in the 1990s. The article in People said you have a chateau in Switzerland. That sounds expensive. Money can’t buy you love, but at least you can be miserable in comfort.
And I saw your picture, and you are are still way up on the hot meter. I would say as you have gotten into your 40s that you are even hotter. In a Jane Seymour kind of way.
Once you are ready to get back out on the dating scene, guys will be lining up from here to Dusseldorf to meet you. You will not lack for male attention. I don’t know you, but I don’t think your celebrity ever caused you to go crazy like what happened with Britney. That means a better batch of guys will be in that line.
I would like to make one suggestion. Try to date a different kind of guy. Maybe even one that isn’t a celebrity. I don’t know your ex Robert, but I do know he produced AC/DC and his nickname is “Mutt”. Red flags, those are.
I imagine you find it difficult to meet regular guys because you are a super celebrity. Have you tried the supermarket while wearing a wig? Starbucks in a baseball cap? Good guys are out there, but I can imagine the ratio of jerks in the entertainment industry is pretty high. What about joining a softball team?
Don’t get down. A lot of people go through a divorce and come out better on the other side. Why don’t you write songs about the divorce and make a album? All the best country songs are about love gone bad.
One request: in the video please wear the lepeord print.
Your friend,
Bonga
She is so much hotter than Jane Seymour. I’d have to go with either Teri Hatcher or Julianne Moore. Yes, that’s it, she is so hot in a Julianne Moore sort of way.
Great letter. :: forwarding it to her people ::